


Soulmate Day Au Zimbits

by magical_octopus333



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Check Please! Trope Challenge, Eric Bittle/Jack Zimmerman - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Past Kent Parson/Jack Zimmermann, Soulmate AU, Soulmate Day AU, There will be fluff, after 3 should be more fluffy, chapter 3 with angst, mentions of overdose, zimbits - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-07-18 18:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7325584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magical_octopus333/pseuds/magical_octopus333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this AU<br/>http://magicaloctopus333.tumblr.com/post/146553445490/soulmate-day-au</p>
<p>Jack had long given up on having a soulmate and had been taking medicine on SM day... Until Senior year, due to a kegster the night before SM day, when he forgot to take one the night before and when he woke up...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jack's first Soulmate Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack's first Soulmate day didn't go as he thought it would

Jack woke up groggily, one hand rubbing his eye as he sighed. Looking around his room, he frowned and checked his alarm clock. Yep- he knew it. He stood up slowly before making his way downstairs for breakfast. He plopped down into his seat before folding his arms on the table and burying his head in them.

    “Is everything alright, mon petit chou?” Alicia asked as she stepped away from the stove. She looked down at him with concern when he shook his head

    “I… I slept through Soulmate Day...I don’t have a soulmate, maman…” he mumbled, keeping his head down to hide the tears in his eyes. ‘ _Really, Jack! Crying?’,_ his thoughts taunted. _“You should be better than this. You’re a Zimmermann, and a Zimmermann doesn’t cry…’_

    He felt a hand land on his head, messing up his bed-head even more so. He didn’t even need to look up to know his papa was behind him. “Now that's a load of… crap… Jack, that's a load of utter crap.”

    Jack shook his head as he looked up at his father, smiling down at him in a knowing way. “Oh yes it is. And if your maman wasn’t so vehemently against foul language in the house, I’d say those words to describe how wrong that is, Jack… Hey Jack?”

    “Yes, Papa?”

    “I wanna tell you a story I’ve kept a secret from everyone except your mom? It might help you understand…”

    Jack nodded quickly as his father took a seat to Jack’s left. Alicia took a seat to Jack’s other side and he felt her hand gently rubbing his shoulder. He turned to her and gave her a small smile before turning to his father.

    “Well, Jack… I slept through my first Soulmate day… Save your question for the end of the tale, Jack. By then, it may be already answered though. Now, I slept through that first one. Slept through the next one. And again the next year. Now, the year of my fourth one- when I was 18 and doing hockey in High school, I got a messy check and sprained my ankle. The week before Soulmate Day. Found out from the doctor that if you get injured, you can’t do the Switch. And slept through that year’s SM Day as well. At that point… I was sure I didn’t have a soulmate at all. I felt...inadequate… like I wasn’t good enough to have one like my friends…”

    Bob looked up at his son, whose eyes were as wide as saucers, nodding almost imperceptibly. He wiped the frown that had taken hold while he recounted his story. With a broad smile blooming, he looked at Alicia and continued his tale.

    “But, in my first year in the NHL, I had accepted my fate, more or less. In fact, I stayed up late the night before SM day at friend’s college party- at which I Definitely Didn’t Drink _Anything_ Alcoholic, of course.” (Jack snickered as Alicia scoffed at his sarcastic tone) “-and I woke up the next day, staring at a ceiling in the dark that had glow-in-the-dark stars, still faintly glowing, with an alarm clock going off _rather_ loudly. I sat up and found myself in a different bedroom, and when I glanced down… that was a different feeling altogether.”

    “So… this is normal? I might still have a soulmate!” Jack asked hopefully. His parents smiled at each other.

“Fuck yeah!” “Language!” “Mom!” “Sorry!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so change of plans. Chapter 3 shall have angst. Chapter two will be the early Kent/Jack stuff.


	2. Young love...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Kent meet

So Jack had slept through his first SM day. That same year, he met Kent Parson- a short blonde boy with a smirk and an ever-changing eye color- and Jack fell hard. He didn't realize it was a crush, didn't really think about that until later really. But, he did know that he wanted to be friend with Kent. After a few months of knowing each other, Kent told Jack a secret. He had missed his first Soulmate Day because of a mild concussion in a hockey game he was playing the day before.

"It freaked me out," Parse told him as they sat on the swings, side by side. "Sleeping the day through, but my mom said that it happens if you're hurt. Don't know why it stops it, but it always has.. my Aunt Sandy told me about how, in the old days of knights and princesses, that castle servants all were given slashes- three- on their left arm, so that they would have to sleep the day through instead of finding a soulmate... I hope that doesn't happen to me, not finding mine."

Jack nodded and grinned. "Hey, Kent?", Jack asked. Kent glanced at him with a raised brow. "Can I tell you a secret, too?" Kent nodded, turning to Jack on the swing. "I missed my SM day, too. My papa told me that it happens if your Soulmate is hurt or too young for it. So, I think I may still have one. I hope I do. And I hope they like hockey."

Kent laughed and replied, "They better like hockey, or they don't know what they're getting into. Hey, wanna go to my place? Parents are out so we can order pizza for dinner."

"You had me at pizza."

 

The next year, Kent and him had become best friends and on the same line for hockey. They were practically inseparable and were an amazing duo on and off the ice. It was the happiest they had been, and Jack wondered to himself if maybe- just maybe- Kent may be The One. There were platonic Soulmates, ones that were just best friends forever, so Jack thought it could be. He excitedly awaited Soulmate day that year, thinking about what it’d be like to wake up in Kenny’s body. ‘ _Would it be weird being that much shorter? Will his parents be okay that I’m his soulmate?_ ’

But, Kent got into a fight two days before SM Day, and ended up with a black eye. Jack asked him about it later, and Kent shook it off, wouldn't answer his repeated questions. They both slept through Soulmate Day, told each other as much. Jack did eventually find out what happened to cause the fight.

 

It was New Year's Eve, two hours away from midnight, and the boys had gotten permission to have a sleepover at the Zimmermann's house. That evening, Jack’s parents and Kent’s were invited to a party for the New Year, but the boys weren’t allowed to join since there would be drinking involved. So they stayed in and had the TV on in the background as they drank soda and ate pizza. Eventually, Kent went quiet, staring at his feet, propped up on the coffee table.

“Hey, Kenny? You okay?” Jack asked, noticing Kent’s silence.

“You know how they say that if you wanna confess something, do it on New Year’s Eve so it doesn’t hold over for the next year, right?” Kent asked, flipping off the TV. Jack nodded, confusion evident on his face. “Well… you wanted to know why I got in that fight, right?” Jack nodded again, his head tilted slightly. Kent sighed, taking a few moments before speaking again, quietly. “I… I’ll explain what happened, but you gotta promise not to let it change anything… promise?”

Jack looked him in the eyes and said, “I promise, Kenny. Unless you tried flirting with my mom again and they guy was teasing you. Then I’ll have to give you a noogie.” Kent snorted, falling into laughter.

“That was _one time_ , Zimms! You and your dad are not gonna let me live it down, will you?” Kent asked, laughing between pauses.

“Never, Kenny. I will always chirp you, especially about that.”

Kent sighed, his face falling back into a nervous expression. He kept his eyes on his feet as he raked one hand through his hair, trying to organize what he had to say. Jack could see that whatever Kent had to say carried weight, so he waited for him. Eventually, Kent took a deep breathe and began speaking

   “The day before the fight, we had a game, remember? Well, this guy on the other team, I think he was number 24? The asshole kept trying to check you into the boards, and I distracted him a few times. And then, when his team got the puck, he hip checked me. Nothing bad physically, but he said… he said ‘Next Imma hit your boy’... He didn’t, but the next day he was talking to his team, saying all kinds of shit… bout the team… and you… He doesn’t know shit, Zimms, and the kid needed to learn a lesson. You should how I busted him up… he earned it”

Jack stared at Kent, whose hands were clenched into fists, his body tense as if ready to find the guy again and beat him senseless.

   “Kent, what did he say about me that made you so mad.” Jack asked, hand on Kent’s shoulder. Kent sighed and all the tension slipped out.

   “You don’t wanna know…”

    “Kenny… please…” Kent turned to him, mouth in a line.

    “You wanna know?... He said who could ever love that fat ugly faggot Zimmermann. And guess what. I marched right up to that twat, punched ‘im in the face and said, “I could” And guess what else, Zimms. I do! With all my goddamn heart, to the moon and stars and back a couple times. And you don’t love me back, you don’t ev-mmf!” It only took a second for Jack to realize what he had done, but he didn’t stop. He let one hand hold Kent’s face as he kissed him gently. It took a minute for Kent to respond, but then he tilted his head, let his eyes slip close as he deepened the kiss. Eventually, Jack led Kent to his room to do kissing… and more.

  

 

   “Jack, we’re home! Jack!... Jack?”

Jack pushed Kent back, eyes wide as he turned to look at his door. Still locked, and he could tell his Dad was still downstairs. He turned to Kent, who was snickering in his lap. He hit Kent slightly on the arm, and glared.

    “Not funny. What if they try to come in here!?!??” Jack whisper-yelled.

Kent smirked and whispered back, “then they’re gonna see little Jack…”

    “Keennnnyyyyyy!” Jack whined, pouting slightly.

Kent rolled his eyes and replied, “put your PJs back on and stay under the blankets. I'll pretend to be asleep on the air mat, so if they come in, they’ll see us asleep… and once they’re asleep, we are going again, alright?”

“Absolutely, babe.” “babe?” “... bad?” “no… I like it… baby”

In the dark, as they giggled quietly and got dressed, Jack thought to himself, ' _this year is going to be great...'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the end part of the chapter, both boys are 17 as an fyi. The coming year will be 2009 and the Draft year... Yikes... And yes, the next chapters are more inlikely to be longer than the first one. Leave comments below, if you please, and I hope y'all have thus far enjoyed the fic!


	3. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draft year (read notes below)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION!! ! ! !  
> ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!  
> This chapter IS FULL OF ANGST AND IT MAY BE TRIGGERING! IF IN ANYWAY YOU COULD BE TRIGGERED BY READING ON PANIC ATTACKS OR OVERDOSE, OR EVEN THINK YOU MIGHT BE A LITTLE, DON'T READ THIS CHAPTER!!! THE NOTES AT BOTTOM WILL SUMMARIZE THIS SIMPLY FOR YOU SO YOU DON'T RISK IT. THIS IS A WARNING. CHOOSE YOUR NEXT STEP WISELY.

Jack and Kent kept playing together in the Q, and were an amazing pair on and off ice. They practiced together, played together, ate together, and even did some other stuff together as well. And it was great- better than great. Jack was having fun, him and Kenny acting like rock stars and going to parties. Girls were even starting to take notice of the pair, which they reveled in proudly, but kept their hands to themselves and one another.

    Jack was already counting days until Soulmate day once the school year had ended. He had a plan for waking up for his third Soulmate day, when he wakes up in Kenny’s body. He was sure it would happen, positively so. And so was Kenny. They wrote up plans, outrageous and romanticized, of what they could do.

    The week before they were incredibly careful, not doing any dangerous moves in practice or play, no party going or sneaking drinks. They played it safe, or as safe as they could, but the day before Soulmate day, Jack slipped up and got a nasty cut on his cheek. No broken bones, but enough to mean he couldn’t switch. Jack didn’t cry, or make a fuss.Well, at least in the public’s view.

Kenny kept playing, but he was distracted, unfocused, and eventually sent to the bench. The moment he was off the ice, he went to the locker room and got changed. If he timed it, his speed for changing could’ve rivaled records his teammates made. Yet, that wasn’t on his mind; all he could think about was if Jack was okay. As soon as he was dressed, he ran down to the nurse’s area, slipping here and there. He found the room with the door left slightly open, and took a breath before slipping in, closing the door behind him gently. He turned around and glance around the empty room, looking for Jack.

“Parson! What are you doing in here?”, a nurse asked in surprise as she entered the room. Kent whipped around and looked up at her, eyes wide and mouth moving silently for a few moments before he messily stuttered out, “I-I’m l-looking for J-jack, mi-miss. Where…” He pointed at the bed, looking back just to make sure he didn’t miss him. “Oh, Zimmermann? He’s fine, it was just a cut on the cheek. He won’t be able to switch for Soulmate day, but it should heal quick. Zimmermann left to undress after I bandaged it up, but he… he seemed a bit out of it… staring off into space and all quiet… He should be in the locker room.”

“Thank you, Nurse. Thank you…”

“No problem..” she replied, but he was already running out. “That’s strange.”, the nurse remarked to herself as she went to clean the table from doing stitches. “Parson isn’t that polite or shaken as that usually… wonder what’s up?”

    Kent dashed to the locker room and checked all the way through, but Jack wasn’t in there anywhere. He heard the end buzzer from the locker room and slipped out quickly. Kenny looked in the laundry room-empty- then, looked in the Equipment room- empty as well- before checking the coach’s office and the lounge area. Nowhere could he be found and Parson was panting. He stopped to catch his breath near the loading dock area when he saw a bit of blue just past the doorway. He glanced around before walking around and catching sight of Jack’s jersey, bunched up with his torso pads thrown beside it on top of a large crate. Kent walked around and froze at the site he saw.

    Jack had a few nicknames; some were from Kenny, while a few were from the team. The team- and Kent, too- had called Jack a hockey robot, since he is usually stoic faced and focused on hockey most of the time. Kent knew that Jack wasn’t all stoic, of course, since he’d been privileged to see Jack’s passionate side and heard his chirping and ridiculous chirps. He saw those two sides of Jack- serious and joyous. But, until that moment, he didn’t see a third side- this one.

    He was curled into himself, hands grasping tightly to his black hair, his form shaking and shuddering with quiet, gasping breathes. Terrified. He looked utterly terrified, curled up like that against the crate in the dark area of the dock’s, hidden from the world.

    Kent knelt before Jack before reaching with one hand and gently touching his shoulder, causing Jack to jerk up. His eyes were puffy and pink, tears still slipping down his cheeks, over the white bandage covering his stitches. He was still shaking as he looked at Kent, wide eyes and uneven breathes. Terrified.

    “Kenny?”, Jack whispered, his voice rough and cracked seeming loud in the silence of the docks. Kent opened his arms in a silent invitation, and Jack fell into his arms, clutching around him and fingers curling into his shirt. He slotted his head under kent’s shirt, crying into it and whispering a million apologies against the fabric. Kent wrapped his arms around Jack and slowly rubbed circles into his back as the shaking slowed and his breathing evened out. Kent shushed his apologies and hummed quietly an old song  as he held Jack in the dark.

    Eventually, he pulled back, head hung in shame and said- more croaked- another apology. “I’m so sorry, Kenny… I fucked up and-” “Zimms, stop.” Kent spoke, grabbing Jack’s shoulders and waited until Jack looked up before he continued softly. “I’m not mad, baby. I don’t know what’s going on, but we can talk it out, huh? Let’s just go some place else where we can talk privately… okay?” Jack looked down at his lap before nodding.

    “The guys have probably left already, so you can change in the locker room. I’ll be in there with you if you want me to be…” Kent said as he helped Jack up. He whispered back,  “Okay, Kenny…”.They walked into the room in silence, both lost in thought.  Jack didn’t look up and changed, quickly and quietly in the partially darkened locker room, Kent sitting in the locker beside Jack’s. Then, they left the building through the docks, each carrying their bag over their shoulders. Kent drove them out of the ice rink’s lot and out. Jack stared blankly out the window as they drove to Kent’s house. His parents were out, so Jack and Kent slipped in and up to Kent’s room, leaving their bags by the stairs.

    It was quiet for a while as they sat beside each other on the bed. But, eventually, Kent got Jack to explain. About his anxiety, the shadows in the night whispering his every mistake,his father’s shadow. About the fear, the medicine, and the panic attacks. And Kent sat quiet through it all, staring at his boyfriend in a different light. It scared him a bit, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Yet, when Jack finished speaking, he did the first thing that came to mind. He wrapped his arms tightly around Jack’s waist and hid his face in Jack’s neck.

    “I didn’t know, Zimms… I’m so sorry…”, Kent whispered into Jack’s chest, and Jack heard it as clearly as if he had yelled it. Kent held him close and tightly.

    He felt Jack pull back and look at him in confusion. “What do you mean you’re sorry?”, Jack asked, confused. Kent looked at him with shame on his face. “I didn’t know, I could have done something to help, t-to try and make you feel better, but I didn’t and I’m such a horrible boyfriend- such a terrible friend and-”

    “Woah woah woah… Kenny… I… I haven’t had an attack for so long,” Jack replied, staring into Kent’s eyes. “The medicine helps with it so much. And… I didn’t want to… talk about it… makes me feel… lesser. But… you make me feel so huge… Literally and figuratively”. That got a small snort from Kenny that made Zimms smile, too. “I feel… secure with you and I am so sure you’re the one, Kenny. I… usually try to stay calm, but… I got hurt, Kenny. We can’t switch now. And we had so many ideas and plans for tomorrow…” “Zimms…”

Kent spoke as he caught Jack’s hand and they met eyes.  “We have time, okay? We’ll sit this one out, then. We have many more to look forward to, Zimms. We’ll have our turn… just not yet, okay?”

    Jack’s blue eyes shined and he smiled, a small and slightly sad one, but a smile nonetheless. He nodded before leaning forward and catching Kent’s lips for a kiss.

    Eventually, Kent drove Jack home before getting dressed for bed. He smiled down at the rumpled sheets as he slipped into bed for the night and closed his eyes, thinking of Jack.

    It was past midnight when Kent heard a clock ringing and ringing loudly. He woke up with a start to the ringing, glancing around the room in shock. It wasn’t his room, or his bed, or his clothes… He stood up quickly from the bed, quietly, and glanced around for a light switch when he tripped on something on the floor, slipping and crashing on the floor. Then, everything went pitch black.

    He woke again to his alarm clock ringing, in his room once more. He looked around before roughly pinching himself- but no, he’s awake. He got dressed in a daze and went down stairs to find his parents at the table, eating breakfast together at the table quietly. They both looked up when he walked in, and the looks on their faces set his nerves on edge. “Morning…”, Kent said as he went and grabbed himself a plate, then went to the counter to scoop out eggs and bacon along with a few pieces of toast- and a fork, of course- before returning to the table. His parents were still watching him stiffly, quietly, waiting.

    It didn’t take long for him to snap under their gazes, his fingers curled into fists as he yelled, “What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?!” He was met with a silence as he stared at his parents, who looked down at the table. His father looked to his mother, conveying words through a quick glance. His mother spoke up eventually.

    “Last night, we heard you scream, but… It wasn’t you… we heard a loud thud from your room around 3 am. We ran to your room and found you standing up, staring wildly around your room. You saw us and yelled something foriegn before going unconscious and crashing to the floor. If it wasn’t for me reflexes, you’d have woken up with a nasty bruise… Your soulmate…”

    Kent was frozen, jaw dropped as he stared in shock at his mother, gaping and blinking slowly. He slowly came back and whispered, “That was real? I thought… I imagined it all and… oh fuck... “

    “Kent… why didn’t you tell us you were gay?”, his mother asked, tears in her eyes. “Do you not trust us or-” “No, no! I was worried you’d be mad!” Kent said reaching for his mother’s hand but pulling back. “Mad? Honey, we knew you were gay the moment you asked if you could save a prince as a knight, or only princesses. In fact, we were waiting… for you and Jack to get your act together. We and the Zimmermanns were betting on wh-” “Wait, what?”, Kent interrupted.  “Jack and I’ve been dating since last new years…”

Suddenly, it dawned on him. Fell like a ton of bricks on his shoulders. “Oh shit, Jack! Mom, what am I gonna do?! He thinks we’re soulmates- _I thought we were soulmates!_ What do I tell him?” He looked at his mom, who seemed shocked. His father spoke up then, calmly. “Listen, Kent, the draft is coming up in two weeks. Don’t tell him yet, or it’ll send you both spinning. You need to focus on your game for now, and calm down. It’ll be tough, but you will need to tell him- but not yet. Don’t want him to freak out before the draft, right?”

Kent nodded, remembering the previous day. “Right, dad. Alright…” “Okay, Kent. Now, tell us about last night from your side, hm?”

Later that evening Jack calls but Kent ignores it. He goes to bed early that night. Next day at practice, Kent doesn’t talk much to Jack and Kent hopes he doesn’t notice. He does. He stares after him as he goes to the showers, confused. He waits outside for Kenny to come out, but eventually, he calls his parents to pick him up. Kent eventually comes out, eyes still puffy and frowning. The music from the radio only makes him feel worse, so he drives home in silence and goes to his room, a stolen beer from the basement with him.

He avoids Jack, leaves his phone on silent until the battery dies. Doesn’t charge it. And he doesn’t think about _him_. But he can’t sit in silence and be sober without it. A few beers and he doesn’t have to think at all.The hell of a hangover he has to play through rules out that as a solution to this hell he’s stuck in. He can’t talk to Jack about it because that would be bad to do to him. Can’t talk to his parents without pity or repeating things he already knows.

He goes to a computer and looks for an answer, but he can’t figure what to ask. Eventually, he types out, ‘How to deal with something you can’t talk about.’ and hits enter.But all it shows is how to talk it out to someone. Until, further down, it shows things to deal with this without talking. Journaling was one of the options. So he wrote. It was enough… until it wasn’t.

   

    It was Draft Day and to Jack it felt more like Doomsday. Kenny wasn’t speaking to him- except for in practice- and avoiding him and Jack couldn’t figure out why. What had he done to Kenny to make him ignore him like this… It didn’t make any sense

Draft Day, a few hours before the event was to occur, and Jack was terrified. He took two pills, then put tissues into the bottle so they wouldn’t rattle, and hid it with him, incase he needed another. He knew he wasn’t supposed to take more than two per day, but they had became less helpful recently. So he took more and it worked, more or less. Besides, he had to stay calm so the teams will pick him or else he’s screwed.

He was already nervous about the Draft, but that now combined with his fears with Kenny. Kenny, is boyfriend, is acting weird and Jack doesn’t know what he did, just knows that he misses him… And he’ll miss him more if he’s put far away by another team. Jack needed to talk to him about everything, but he’s been left to silence, to his thoughts alone. And it's so much. So much, too much, and too bright.

Everything is flashing and loud, every breathe and slight motion is too loud- every spot of color is too bright, all the lights are too sharp, he tastes acid on his tongue-

“Jack! We’ll be leaving in an hour! Just a heads up!”, he heard his mom call from downstairs. He shook out and yelled back, “Alright, maman!”.

He slipped his phone out of his pocket and called Kenny with shaking hands and bated breath. He waited and Kenny picked up! He picked up, that’s his voice saying hello!

“K-kenny…”, he choked out, then cleared his throat before going on. “Kenny, we need to talk…”

“Nows not the time, Zimmermann-”

“Kent, we _need_ to _talk_., not tiptoe around this… I miss you and I don’t know why you’re avoiding me and it's freaking me out, okay… talk to me, please-”

“No! I can’t, I can’t talk about it, Zimmermann, okay! You wouldn’t understand- and I won’t talk about it.” Kent was yelling and he never yells. Not at Jack- never to Jack…

“Why not?! I’m not just going to take that! We’re soulmates, Kent, and you have been acting weird since soulmate day. I told you I was sorry a thousand- _no_ \- a _million_ times that I was sorry. And you said it doesn’t matter that we missed one! But since that day, I’ve recieved static from you! Crisse, I don’t understand why… I love you, Kenny… Why can’t you _talk to me!?!_ ’

“You don’t understand-”

“Than tell me! Why aren’t you talking to me! Why aren’t you talking to me, I’m your soulmate, so why not?”

“Because _you’re not my fucking soul mate!_ ”

Silence.

“Kenny… Kenny please…”

“I didn’t mean to… You know what. I give up, _Zimmermann_ . I have had to suffer quietly with this weight on my fucking shoulders for so damn long. For you. You wanna know, _huh_? Well guess what. Soulmate day, I woke up in someone else’s body. I don’t know who he is or anything, except he’s my soulmate. I found my soulmate but I slipped in their body and switched back before I could find anything out. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to cause you to freak out because I love you, you bastard, and you- I thought you loved me too! And I’m not your soulmate… I… I can’t- not now… good bye, Jack.”

He hung up. Silence. Silence. How can silence be this loud. Echoing? Through your brain and in your chest. Heart beat is named for moments like this, went it beats down on your chest and every breathe presses it into thorns. Breathe.

Can’t breathe.

A pill. One pill won’t hurt. He slips it out and swallows it dry, feeling it as it goes down. It didn’t work, it still hurts.

One pill won’t hurt, he whispers as he grabs another one and takes it down. It doesn’t help, everything is moving. Flashes, flashes, flashes of thoughts shoot through his head. The lights are bright- they’re blinding. He needs water and another pill, his mind repeats as he stumbles to his bathroom.

He fills water in the cup and dumps a few pills out and into his hand. After all, a few pills won’t hurt. He downs the whole glass with the three blue pills and leans against the sink. He holds the edge tightly, his knuckles going white.

It's still too bright, too loud with his heartbeat getting louder. A few more pills won’t hurt. He gets a cup more of water and five pills, down them quick. It's working! The lights are fading down a bit! He can breathe a bit, but it's better. More pills will make it better. More pills. A few more pills won’t hurt. There’s a buzzing, but the lights are dimming.

More pills won’t hurt.

His hands are shaking as he picks up the pill bottle, seven pills left. The lights are dimming, his thoughts are slowing. His heart is slowing…

More pills won’t hurt

He keeps shaking, clutches the bottle tighter, white knuckles with two hands. He’s swaying now and breathing hurts

More pills won’t hurt, more pills won’t hurt, more pills… won’t… help…

Alicia checking her makeup one more time  when she heard a loud thump upstairs. Immediately she was concerned, and ran up stairs to see if Jack was okay.

He wasn’t in his room

She looked around and saw the bathroom door closed. She knocked on the door as she yelled through it.

“Jack! Are you alright, dear? Jack! Jack! Are you okay?… please, answer me, Jack… Jack! Jack Jack!” She yelled, but he didn’t reply.

She only hesitated for a moment before kicking the door. She entered the bathroom and the first thing she saw were seven blue pills spilled out on the floor. Then, the yellow prescription bottle… then his right hand… she forgot about the pills the moment she saw her child... Her only child,  lying, face down on the floor, still... not moving… not…breathing-

“Jack… Jack! My Jack!” She whispered as she fell to her knees, tears. She put two fingers at his pulse and- it was fluttering, barely there, a pulse. For now...

“Robert!” She screamed. He was there in a moment, a joke on his lips… but he saw Jack… his Jack...  
    “Robert! Call 911, he’s still breathing but barely. I don’t know how he passed out- Oh Jack, why… “ She looked at Robert and saw his face,  pale and staring at the floor. She followed his gaze to the blue…

”Robert… th-the…pill bottle… wh-why...”

“9-11, what's your emergency?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack gets hurt the day before Soulmate Day and has a panic attack. Kent finds out about his anxiety and tells him that they're soulmates and everything will be fine. But, on soulmate day, Kent switches with someone else before getting hurt in the other person's body and switches back. He avoids Jack under his father's advice, since there were two weeks before Draft Day. Day of the Draft, Jack calls Kent and Kent spills about not being soulmates angrily. He hangs up and Jack panics, and overdoses in his locked bathroom. His mom and dad hear him fall to the floor, break the door open to find him and call 911.


	4. A new start for Jack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am horrible. This will be extra long as an apology? I can't promise regular updates, but I will aim for the more fluffier things and try to update better. Maybe just ignore this until its complete? Or be really patient.

It took a while. A couple missteps, and a few slips. But he got better. Physically, at least.

He wasn’t the happiest in any case, until one day, he smiled. He was coaching peewee hockey for little kids, showing them the ropes and a few tricks. It was nice. It kept his mind busy and away from other thoughts. He didn’t smile much, but the kids loved him anyway, since he was famous! He was on tv! And in magazines! Plus, he talks to the kids and always listened, took their questions seriously and answered to the best of his abilities. Eventually, he even started making  little jokes. They were rare, and usually history ones, but they were funny. And one day, one of his little players skates up during snack break.

“Hey, Coach Jack, sir! Did you know england is really wet?!!?!”, the kid yelled, skating up to him as he looked at his clipboard. 

Jack quirked an eyebrow, looking at the kid- Johnny-  and replied, “Is it? I’ve never been… have you?”

Johnny shook his head, making his helmet jiggle a bit. “Nope! But!! I know why it's always so wet- why, it's the wettest country in the world!” He threw his arms up, gesticulating as he looked up at the ceiling. He grinned broadly at Jack, anticipation making him wiggle. It was odd, but little Johnny, who played goalie for the peewee team, always did a little dance with goals. It was the same dance he was doing as he waited.

“Why is it the wettest country, Johnny?”, Jack asked, staring at the odd goalie in confusion. He was dancing and smiling almost maniacally…

“Because… Because the queen has reigned there for years! “

He threw his arms out and laughed- giggled- at his joke, and danced around in a circle. Jack smiled. It wasn’t a huge one,barely bigger than what he usually showed, but the moment he did there were at least twenty gasps heard from the arena before all of the little kids started skating over with bright smiles and wide eyes.

“You smiled!!” , one of the kids yelped before grabbing Jack’s leg in a hug. Jack looked down at the kid- Jojo junior- and messed with his dark, curly hair. 

“I didn’t know you could do that! And it's so shiny!”

“Like metal! I could see my reflection!”

“You should smile more!”

“Johnny, how d’ya do it!!??!?”

“Yeah?!! How?!?!?!”

“I told this amazing- the most brilliant joke…”

\---

By the end of the season, the kids all had an arsenal of history jokes they'd spill out to make Jack smile- and one time, Jojo swears it, he heard him  _ laugh _ . And he didn’t find them all funny, but the way the kids would light up when they saw him smile made him feel better. And not just in a physical way like rehab did. It made him smile, and think nicer. And yeah, there were days where the world would grey a bit… but he remembered their jokes, and how they said they knew he was awesome, and that they liked him. He couldn’t move a mountain, but he made the kids happy... It was something he could do- lead. Have a team. 

He wanted to go back, earn his place again in the hockey world from where he fell. He felt that he needed to earn it, after… that day... He decided college would be the way. A small college, a kind one, where he might fit in and like it. He eventually asked his mom and she lighted up. A bit like...anyway...

Samwell was where she had went, and had a wonderful time, learned a lot about herself, all that. Jack looked up Samwell, found out about how open and safe it is for people… like him. A small, rather liberal, college It was weird, and a secret he hadn’t shared. Only Kenn- Parson. Only Parson and his parents knew that… well, that  he likes boys- to be blunt. Samwell wouldn’t be bad for him. Of course, he couldn’t be out with that part, but at least it’ll be easier to relax a bit.

So, he had to tell the kids goodbye. There were tears- both sides really- from the kids, but Jack knew this was the right thing to do. There was a feeling in his gut that told him so, different than the usual twist of anxiety there would be.

 

Freshman year was going to be a nightmare, he was almost sure of it. A terror, monsters on all sides, and all he had to defend himself with was a hockey stick. He was terrified of going to college as the days slowly got closer… and closer… But he was excited a bit too. A new start, new place… but it was scary, like being on a tightrope with no safety below. But, hopefully, buzz would die down after a while and he won’t be ostracized or… ‘ _ stop thinking too much… it’ll be fine, just breathe… breathe…”,  _ Jack heard a voice in his head whisper. He couldn’t place it, but it didn’t matter. He had to relax, get some sleep for tomorrow.

 

First day for hockey meeting, he was late. He had slept late, didn’t get in a jog beforehand, and was all in disarray as he ran to the ice rink, hat covering his face when he knocked into this guy, crashing down to the ground, along with the stranger. The strange guy wearing formal-looking clothing- some sort of uniform...

“Sorry, sorry, I’m late- First day!” Jack yelled, bolting up only to slip and fall back on his ass. He looked down at his lap, feeling his shoulders tense and chest constrict slightly

“Woah, dude, relax for a second here... Come here..”, said the stranger. Jack suddenly found two arms wrapped around him, one stroking his back a bit. And- as odd as it sounds- having his back being rubbed by this complete stranger helped.

“It's okay, bro. It's my first day, too. Hockey?”

“Oui-  _ yes… _ ”

“Well-”, the stranger pulled back and held out his hand. “I’m known as Shitty Knight, bro. Because my real first name is really shitty, so.” “Jack- Jack Zimmerman”

The man- Shitty- had a small brown mustache with a matching little goatee with it. His hair was hanging past his chin. “Bit shaggy…”

“Yeah, I’m gonna get the chop later this year… “

That's when Jack found out he’d said that last part out loud and flushed pink- bright pink that glowed from under his baseball cap. He shrunk into his blue hoodie slightly, looking down. He muttered a sorry- stuttered it, really- before pulling back. And that was the mistake. He pulled back Shitty saw his face.

“Holy shit, you’re adorable, Zimmermann…”, Shitty whispered, eyes wide and surprised. Jack, confused more than ever, looked up at him slowly. “If I swung that way, I’d prob get the hots for you, you gorgeous fucker…” 

Jack thought he couldn’t blush harder, but the heat pulsating from his cheeks told otherwise, and he ducked his head, smiling slightly. 

“Woah woah woah! Is that a smile?!? I’m a god- I made you turn scarlet AND _ smile. _ Oh! And we’ll be doing hockey together- bro!! That's it, I’m your friend now. No, don’t try to deny it, cute dude. Cude? Dute? Cutie pa-dude-ie?”

That's how Jack met Shitty Knight, who quickly became his best friend and confidant. About anxiety and his Soulmate day problem, among other, more fun, things. 

 

Early in second semester, at the ‘Haus’, or Hockey Frat House, there was a party going on. A ‘kegster’, as the other guys called it, to celebrate their first win. Jack had gotten a goal in the game and the upper classmates on the team were saying he had to do a ‘keg stand’. Jack feared that slightly, the over indulgence and… overall, bad thing. He stayed at Shitty’s side as he mingled, but when he heard the team start to chant for him, he ducked up the stairs and out onto the little roof area outside the window in the second floor hallway. 

He had found that it was a fine place to sit and just think or read without anyone around, or just with Shitty. The rest of the team- except maybe Johnson- didn’t know about his little hideout.  So he leaned back against the wall, zipping up his jacket when a cool breeze slipped by. He was looking at the stars and had been for a while when he heard the front door slam open. 

“Rapunz-Jack, Rapunz-Jack, Let down your hair!!!”, Shitty yelled, a solo cup in hand and his body nude except for his boxers. Jack felt himself smile down at his drunk friend, who threw back the rest of his drink before tossing the cup down behind him.

“Where are the rest of your clothes?”, Jack hollered, an eyebrow raised. Shitty squinted at him and yelled, “Hold on!”. Shitty turned around and marched over to the tree, climbing up into the branches before settling on the branch closest to the roof. 

“What are you doing, Shits?”, Jack chirped with a smirk as he watched Shitty. 

“Well, trying to get up to there, bro. If I jump…”

“Shitty, you’re drunk and what are you- PUT YOUR BOXERS-”

“CLOTHES WILL SLOW ME DOWN!! SOCIETY MAKES US WEAR CLOTHING TO RESTRICT US-”

“What are you-”

“Ack! THIS WILL NOT WORK!! I’M STUCK! MY GOD!!”

“Shitty, calm down! You’re alright, just breathe. I’m gonna go through the Haus and get down to the tree and help you out, okay? Just stay there and breathe.”

Jack climbed back into the house, albeit clumsily, and dashed downstairs and through the people milling around with his hat pulled down over his face. The moment he got outside, he looked up to find Shitty, completely naked and wrapped around the branch. 

“Please put your boxers on Shitty, and I’ll help you down..”

“Nope! I’ll leave this world how I came into it- naked and screaming.”

“While being pushed out of your mom’s… lady parts?”

“Great, Jack. You’ve ruined me. And my mind will forever be scarred by that thought…”

“Will you put on the boxers now?”

“Alright, alright, don’t get your boxers in a twist! So how will I get down? It's soo faaaar…”

Jack looked up his friend’s pouting face. He was a bit more reserved usually, but he became rather dramatic while under the influence. But at least he wasn’t trying to fight or get laid, as some kids in the Q used to. 

“Alright, now sit with your legs over the branch. I’ll count down and on three, you’ll jump down. I’m right here and I’ll catch you, eh? Ready?”

“My knight in armor! Rescuing me!”

“Of course I am. You’re my friend, Shits.”, Jack said, feeling heat in his cheeks as a smirk grew on his face. “Plus, you’re a rather shitty knight, so who better than I?”

Shitty’s face lit up and he giggled- _ giggled- _ at his comment, his grin spread across his face. He shook his head and replied, “The ‘hockey robot’ is really just  a sap, huh? Alright, I’m ready.”

Jack shook his head, but immediately got into stance to catch him. 

“Alright, one- wait!”, Jack hollered, eyes widening as Shitty jumped. He caught him of course, a bit surprised at how little he weighed. 

“I said on three-”

“I thought-”

“It’s fine, Shits. Lets go back to the dorms- I got new documentary in my room that's really cool-”

“I’ll only watch it if you carry me there.”

“Fine. But put on some clothes. You can borrow a flannel shirt at least. And eat something…” 

“Order pizza?”

“Okay.”


	5. Dicky meets the team

He couldn’t help his excitement! He was here, at Samwell! He had his dorm setup partially done already and, since it was still summer break, he had the student kitchens all to himself. Tomorrow, he was going to meet the rest of the team at free skate, and he had already made a pie… or two… 

He set up his camera, sat in his desk chair, and smiled as he waited for the record light to go on.

He has had this vlog channel for a while, and while it wasn’t a super popular one, it made him happy to share his recipes and stories in the chance they help. Plus, it was easier than trying to keep a written journal, after what happened last time…

He shook the memory out of his head as he turned to the camera.

“Hellooooooooo Internet Land!”, he said with a wave toward the camera.

“Some of my more adept followers may have noticed a change in location and have noticed correctly because- I’m in my freshman dorm at Samwell!”, he says, yelling the last bit while leaning forward.

“It’s a dream come true”, he whispers, as his hands curl up and shake. He squishes his cheeks in his hand, a look of wonderment adorning his face as he gushed, “Oh my goodness and the campus is so gorgeous.” He rolls his eyes back and leans away with a smile. He shakes himself from his reverie subtly before going on.

“Why am I here a week and a half before Frosh orientation? Good question”, he says as he raises his finger. “Seven out of twenty of Samwell’s Varsity athletic teams are officially in pre-season as of the 13th of August.” he answers, finger wagging. 

“And our first skate is tomorrow. Which means I get to really meet “The Boys” for the first time. And I hope the Yankees like pecan pie...”, he says as he leans over and grabs the still-fresh pie to show the camera.

“Cause, Y’all, the student kitchens are open… Alright, I still have a room to set up so I’ll talk to y’all later. Wish me luck for tomorrow!”

  
  
  
“Well. I met the Boys. um. I have never been more disheartened with male hygiene in my entire 18 years of life.... And the things they did to the pecan pie were felonious…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... about not updating in forever? I know its horrible, but I hope to be able to work on this fic and finish it properly. Its just i've been worried about continuing because I didn't want to risk messing up the ages and little parts that I just avoided doing any work. Now, I'm probably going to make mistakes- call me out so I can fix them. I won't promise anything, but I hope I will get this work done before summer ends at the latest. Sorry. I will try to push out pieces even if they are short like this one.
> 
> So I will switch Point of View, but I will try to focus more on Jack. I had intended angst here, but that will be for a later point, so i'll warn you to 'check' the notes in the beginning of other chapters for a heads up. Hope you've enjoyed this piece so far


	6. Bitty's first team breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About the team breakfast?

In his Junior year, they got this kid- Eric Bittle. Jack didn’t know what to do with him, really. He was fast like a bullet, and as thin as a rail, blond hair and brown eyes... and he brought a pie. A pie. To a hockey skate. He's small and he _bakes,_ and he apparently did figure skating? Not a tough guy- he doesn't have a problem with it, _no._ Shitty would chew him out, and besides, it doesn't matter his size or interests. What matters is if he can play despite the size problem. But, he feels bad for the kid. The size thing will put a target on his back, and if other teams knew he baked, he'd get torn to shreds. He's heard about- and received- comments guys make about being anyway corresponding with showing femininity. He's worried for the kid- and the team, too. He may become a liability to the team if he doesn't at least try to work hard. 

And he brought a pie! It made a mess, on  _and_ off ice, and the amount of unhealthy ingredients- Jack shudders at that.  ‘ _ So much for a diet plan’,  _ Jack thought to himself as he stood in line for breakfast the following day. ‘ _ I guess he just didn’t think of the consequences of bringing a pie... but he does need to put some meat on his bones... not pie. Protein. In case he is vegan? I’ll tell him he needs more protein...’ _

He carried this thought in his head as he found where his teammates were sitting, and as he was setting down his tray, he said to Bittle, “Bittle. You need to eat more protein”.  He then turned to his breakfast, thinking, ‘ _ There. That should help him. Relax, he should understand just fine... _ ’

 

~~~

“Hey guys!”, he says with an awkward wave at the camera. “So, sorry about the lack of updates. With classes just starting and morning practice, I mean--”.

He shrugs, continuing with a slight grimace. “I haven’t been this sore since preparing for Southern Junior Regionals in 2010… Eric of the future, flash a photo and cut this footage, okay? Now, back to more talking…” Bitty looks to the side, feeling awkward.

“And thanks guys for the supportive comments...The team is...um… I guess it takes  time to click with people after they do unspeakable things to your pies.”

He makes a sour face as the memory threatens to return.

“They just… didn’t even care about.. With the hands and then… oh, I feel bad for whoever had to clean that up… Anyway. My team mates! So there’s Shitty… I still don’t know his first name. Then there’s Ransom and Holster- sorry, Holster and Ransom. And last but not least, our beloved Captain: Jack.”

He crosses his arms across his chest and leans back, a frown matching his less-than-pleased tone of voice at the very name.

“Now, the other guys were a bit... odd, but Jack was angry. He didn’t have a bee in his bonnet, I believe he had a whole hive up in there. You wouldn’t believe what he did this morning. After Shitty greeted me… I think it was nicely? He swears like a sailor and congratulated me on not being a bigot-  **bless his heart** . If you only… well, maybe you will… I hope… Cut this out…”

“After Shitty greeted me, Jack came over to the table for team breakfast, all big with his hockey jacket and his hands gripping hard to his tray, comes over. He hasn’t even sat down, his tray or himself, and he’s already telling me I need to- He comes over and says, ‘Bittle-” 

Said in a faux deep voice, his shoulders pushed out as if to make him bigger, and makes a face.

“ ‘You need to eat more protein’. He said that, right out the bat, and I’m here sittin’ here thinkin’, bitch you did not just bring your big ol' Canadian booty over here and tell me what to do, that ain’t how ya talk to me I am a queen- shit that sounded gay… the ‘bitch you did not may be a bit… much… I’ll fix it in editing…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update? Schools almost out, so I'll try to keep motivated and keep this going even if its just short chapters. No, I'm not rewriting the whole comic, I'm just setting a nice base- I think. Comment what you think and I hope you've enjoyed what you've read so far. Thanks for reading even if you didn't, though.

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter will be angst and if you don't want to deal with the angst, there will be a summary at bottom next chapter of it. Leave a comment if you please and I will try to actually continue this. Hope you have enjoyed!


End file.
